Tag Archives: love and hate

Confused

Trapped in a parallel universe

Had an encounter with the person Iā€™ve always wanted to be, but observed from a distance

I canā€™t be that person because thatā€™ll be losing my identity,

Iā€™m tired of this uncertainty,

My mind doesnā€™t like me,

My head plots against me,

And my emotions fucking play with me,

Iā€™m not even in control of my own body,

It does what it wants and then regret later.

Only thing Iā€™m allowed to control in my body itā€™s my eye so I can see myself making same mistakes over and over again and my heart so I can feel the pain.

What scares me about myself is the fact that Iā€™m ok with everything wrong about to happen, no pain no heartbreak no hurt just this numb feeling of emptiness.

Iā€™m lost

Whyā€™d you give me space?Whyā€™d we fight? Now all I can think about is someone I used to know, someone i have nothing with no more, someone I canā€™t go back to all of a sudden I miss her, well that was just a moment of weakness. I know I canā€™t fully have you, You let me know youā€™re spoken for but relentlessly I pestered on and now weā€™re in the other side, Iā€™m left wondering if I know what Iā€™m doing, if I made a right choice, if you can love two people at the same time. I know Iā€™m living a lie, it feels like Iā€™m waiting for my mirage to come crashing down and the painful breeze of reality comes brining me back to this old person, someone I left behind for a time or so I thought, I donā€™t want to be that person any more, it feels trapped, anxiety, depression, it feels sad really really sad, it feels like i canā€™t breathe. The irony of itā€™s all is that I loathe the old person but deep deep down I miss and want him back.

Cookie:2:50a.m

I keep staring at your pictures and videos

My thoughts made you my oasis

On a regular basis

Cloudy weather siege

My comfort peach

In the same lucid dreams they’re troubled waters

Lessing bad days and stormy weathers

You’ve made me look forward to making it through the day sane as look forward to seeing you

Frozen in time before you arrived

With your fiery hug you strived

Freed me of myself no longer numb

Block

I feel like with each breath I take am losing myself and getting more unsatisfied with it.
I feel like the weight of the whole world rests upon my shoulder, I feel like they are patiently waiting for me to screw up. The pain of rejection hurts more than death. I was told once that time heals the deepest wound and also leave the nastiest scare, I always visualized talking to you, I always thought of what to say to and now I have the courage I don’t feel like talking no more. Drowned in my thoughts, chocked by my feelings, my mind fogy playing tricks on me I don’t understand i wished I had a wish to take the pain away
Cause those p**l can’t help me.šŸ’”

Love and Hate

Love and hate
Love:
Never love that which you cannot keep, protect, fight for. Each night without you beside me places my mind on an ending roller coaster, with you in with me I can deal with the bad days because you’re always there to push that dark cloud hovering over my head.
Always go through my playlists searching for that song that defines how I feel for you, I have longed to search for a song that helps put my feelings in check, love blinds makes you see things that are not real. My love for her was real or as I think or could it have been the comfort, affection, and trust that I needed that moment that blinded me. Nevertheless, loves is a construct of punishment for the weak. For love is strong and only the strong can survive. How strong enough are you to love?

Hate :
Gave you my love and heart in one piece but you let it fall. All I did was try to let the whole know about you and me but somehow you got it all wrong. Maybe I made a mistake and it costs me to lose you all I can think of is ways to hate you in order not to be reminded of the good old days. I tell myself how much I hate you, how I wish to replace you. Maybe you didn’t reciprocate my feeling for you am filled with rage which burns through my eyes blinding my emotions making me do the same to others. But stopped on the way to destruction and realise that I walk in the say way as you did which makes this an unending cycle of love and hate. Could she have been a victim? In the end which prevails? Love always comes with hate.