Category Archives: reality

TO all Over-thinkers out there I hope we can relate

What you said still rings like an alarm in my head, sadly yes I’m an over-thinker and you should have known that.

I let myself down, I shouldn’t have shown you the vulnerable side of me, that’s a lesson well served! Yes I’m an over thinker

I stare at a mirror all I can see is that text

I listen to music my head changes the word to the damaging things you said, yes I’m an over thinker!

I’m starting to feel like I’m being extra, but I can’t be the regular me with you, that me is worse than me. You made me so comfortable I feel trapped and suffocated at this point I can’t even vent. Yes I’m an over-thinker!

Watch the way you speak to me and tone, yes I’m an over thinker!

I’m scared of what my head tells me to do because it’ll just lead to me messing things up and blaming it for on you to ease my subconscious, maybe it’s right maybe it’s wrong, yes I’m an over thinker!

Confused

Trapped in a parallel universe

Had an encounter with the person I’ve always wanted to be, but observed from a distance

I can’t be that person because that’ll be losing my identity,

I’m tired of this uncertainty,

My mind doesn’t like me,

My head plots against me,

And my emotions fucking play with me,

I’m not even in control of my own body,

It does what it wants and then regret later.

Only thing I’m allowed to control in my body it’s my eye so I can see myself making same mistakes over and over again and my heart so I can feel the pain.

What scares me about myself is the fact that I’m ok with everything wrong about to happen, no pain no heartbreak no hurt just this numb feeling of emptiness.

I’m lost

Why’d you give me space?Why’d we fight? Now all I can think about is someone I used to know, someone i have nothing with no more, someone I can’t go back to all of a sudden I miss her, well that was just a moment of weakness. I know I can’t fully have you, You let me know you’re spoken for but relentlessly I pestered on and now we’re in the other side, I’m left wondering if I know what I’m doing, if I made a right choice, if you can love two people at the same time. I know I’m living a lie, it feels like I’m waiting for my mirage to come crashing down and the painful breeze of reality comes brining me back to this old person, someone I left behind for a time or so I thought, I don’t want to be that person any more, it feels trapped, anxiety, depression, it feels sad really really sad, it feels like i can’t breathe. The irony of it’s all is that I loathe the old person but deep deep down I miss and want him back.

Cookie:2:50a.m

I keep staring at your pictures and videos

My thoughts made you my oasis

On a regular basis

Cloudy weather siege

My comfort peach

In the same lucid dreams they’re troubled waters

Lessing bad days and stormy weathers

You’ve made me look forward to making it through the day sane as look forward to seeing you

Frozen in time before you arrived

With your fiery hug you strived

Freed me of myself no longer numb

Numb

minds rally, thoughts foggy I feel it coming but those words no we’re to be found. My life feels like an epiphany  I can’t even see the oasis right in front of me. Abandoned by courage, deceived by insecurities, what I desire the most I can’t get, sometimes I question why am made like this. Quite funny you know this day I feel empty I know not who I am, my purpose not yet revealed, Have sought answers in a land of lost, far and wide the problems I must face head-on.
oh, how may I achieve that which I know not, an endless runner in a maze of surprises, I always have this feeling that I have finally changed but am still d same somehow, I don’t want to make the same mistakes I made in d past but the same occurrence keeps on happening

Block

I feel like with each breath I take am losing myself and getting more unsatisfied with it.
I feel like the weight of the whole world rests upon my shoulder, I feel like they are patiently waiting for me to screw up. The pain of rejection hurts more than death. I was told once that time heals the deepest wound and also leave the nastiest scare, I always visualized talking to you, I always thought of what to say to and now I have the courage I don’t feel like talking no more. Drowned in my thoughts, chocked by my feelings, my mind fogy playing tricks on me I don’t understand i wished I had a wish to take the pain away
Cause those p**l can’t help me.💔

Words

Do not measure yourself by the success of others, do not make it a habit to be what people expect you to be. Everyone is different and special in their way.
This is a sad world filled with disappointment
Humans that’s what the universe calls us, this world wasn’t made fair so it took out its revenge on us humans. Some people are handed shit while some work for what we want. Being black means survival, that a fact that black means survivals ï’š.
       Many people try to change who they the are so people would like them but truly everyone’s broken and messed up but their better hiding it than you are, always remember the world doesn’t revolve round a person.
        Am proud to be black. Black life’s matter

Kold world

Many things come and go
Put in a black list ain’t no joke
Now being watched by spirits
Even my shadow judge me
Demons really exist in bodies
No longer safe always watch your back
People who want you dead tells in time
There’s a difference between songs and lyrics
I dance to the song and sing along with lyrics
Such melodies untold
Tales of monsters coming to existence
That day I’ll never forget
Finally unmasking themselves
Left alone to wonder and die
How I survived this year’s unknown
A father’s love have I never felt
Left without an angel to fight my battles
The devils coming after me
So glad she didn’t get me
Always see her in my mirrors
How can I forget
When it feels like she’s always watching my every move
Finally back to my old self
But locked in a room I cant get out
        ****Antisocial****